Otome Survival 9
Tags: Otome Survival
It was a terrible day with a happy ending.
The day started off horribly, with my time being wasted for useless shite. I thought I couldn't make today's release in time, so I thought I'd try translating a little bit differently to speed up the process.
I basically just tried being more liberal with my translation. I usually bash my head against each sentence to try and improve it with each iteration, but today I just said "Feck it, I'll just go with my gut feeling".
So since this chapter is now up, you can tell that it worked wonders for speed. I feel like I spent half of the time it usually takes me. And I actually think I enjoyed it more. Kinda feels liberating.
I'm kind of proud of the penultimate line (excluding the author's note) in this chapter. I think knowing the events that will happen in the future has helped me in wording that perfectly.
On a side note, I'm not sure about what to do with screams. The Japanese language is very expressive when it comes to their screams, but when I translate those to English it just sounds like a joke. They just lack something.
For example, this chapter has "Gya—!?" which I wanted to translate to "Oww!?", but it just sounds like a child surprised about a bug bite or something. I dunno. That's why from the start I left the Japanese screams, since I knew that there'll be a lot of screaming throughout this story.
The reason I'm conflicted is because my plan was to make a translation that felt like it was originally written in English. No Japanese knowledge required.
Though I do still keep the Japanese style of not using "s/he said"s because Japanese authors usually give each character a recognisable speech pattern, which is harder to do in English. I only used it a couple of times so far when it felt right or was already part of the text.
Still, reading comments from some English authors, it seems that not having any of those is actually considered good writing, as in, if you have to write who said what, you probably should rewrite your dialogue. I personally have no clue, so I guess I'll see how it goes.
- [+] Something that was added in the light novel.
- [–] Something that didn't make it into the light novel.
- [≠] Some difference in details.
- [+] A little preface stating that people's actions were limited based on social status before going into the explanation.
- [+] Specifically mentioning that there were more inorganic substances and very little nature inside the town when explaining about the magic particles. And right after, mentioning that she had to also match the size of the magic particles and not just the element.
- [+] She felt the boy approaching before he called out to her.
- [+] A Hyun-! sound effect before the stone hit the man.
- [+] Her thinking "It went well..." before explaining the weapon she used to knock the drunkard out.
- [≠] She didn't send a cold gaze to the siblings in the web novel, just ignored them.